During a conversation with a friend that I know through cycling, I came to realize that some of the greatest fortunes that have come about in my life are a direct result of mistakes, misfortunes and human flaw (my own). It also reminded me of a phrase I heard; the Creator recreates more perfectly than creation.
We were discussing the current political environment. Yes, I know, that is a taboo - how could I? Well, I did and I went as far as talking about my 'belief' in divine providence. In response to a Facebook post I made recently, the thoughts I have had about one or the other of our current presidential candidates is that no matter which one ends up in the chair, that they are fulfilling their destiny and we all have a dharma that moves us through life. Our lives are much more interwoven that our brains could ever imagine, in my belief, and we can be at much more peace if we cooperate with the hand that is dealt to us and use our gifts the best way possible, caring and loving ourselves as much as we love our neighbor and certainly make clear the invisible boundaries that we all stand for when definite our character. It is important to me to be able to decide what's important, and what is nothing. It is important to me to be able to decide (pleading for wisdom all the while) what is acceptance and tolerance, and what is caving-in to the opinion of others. To me, that is called 'defining character' and it is unique to me, but impact-able, and dynamic, and certainly like everything else about the human condition, it is fallible.
Back to the misfortune...Many years I struggled with addiction and alcoholism. I remember one particular night when snorting crystal meth with a friend in a restaurant bathroom - I remember the vision of her arm being smashed by me with the stall door because someone was about to enter the area. This is one memory I am certain to see flash before my eyes at the end of life tunnel, the shame was tangible and debilitating. My father was an alcoholic, yet I feel like I was raised in a very loving home. I have many sobriety birthdays. I fell off the wagon many times. I cannot drink alcohol and I remind myself everyday. It is the cause of some of the darkest days in my life - those days I cared nothing for myself and nothing for others and was merely human tissue taking up space on the planet. I offered nothing to society and society only offered alcohol to me. Through sobriety, I have met others with stories more horrific than mine. They are the most accepting and loving people I know. I am not saying that it is impossible to reach an understanding of the human condition without the 'fortune of misfortune' but I believe that having this perspective makes helping others a lot easier. It makes accepting others easier. It makes being gentle with myself easier, and it helps me to be loving and kind to my comrades a little quicker. (Not that I have a perfect run at that even - we are all filled with limitations.)
As a result I have learned to
ask for forgiveness - even when I did nothing wrong - what can that hurt? (Not me certainly)
look for the best in people
keep peace in my heart
give generously of my time
thank others that give you their time
always be willing to teach
love myself
understand we are spiritual beings thrust into a human existence,
give forgiveness
embrace the path as it is revealed to me - we belong where we are for a special purpose.
A joyful heart today have I, and here's the simple reason why - within ignites your light and mine inviting all to bravely shine!
Friday, September 30, 2016
Sunday, September 11, 2016
USS FreeBee - 505 Racing Sailboat
Discovering sailing on an International 505 ("FreeBee") as a complete novice has been a beautiful journey so far. Roger Lovett determined I was ready to try and assist with the spinnaker last Sunday. This was only my second time out on his boat "Freebee" and I was anxious to learn. Roger has not been sailing for a few years. Surviving a heart-attack last December gave him a second chance to re-engage with some of the joys he had let slip away in the 'busy-ness' of the daily grind. When Roger would talk about sailing and racing, his eyes would light up! I just knew he needed to bring his sailboat back out to the water.
The first time we went sailing, I stood around helplessly as I watched Roger meticulously assemble the rigs for the sailboat. He would give me small tasks, but for the most part, he was busy trying to re-orient himself with his 505 sailboat. Raising the mast, we worked to untangle the many lines. One of them, being stuck between the block and the wheel of the pulley, forced Roger to have to lower the mast to correct the line on the wheel. I mention this difficulty because the same thing happened to us on our second outing. We shook the ropes, whipped them, tugged them and messed around with them so long before we again had to lower the mast to remove the rope from the pulley jam. We would have been much better off deciding to do this a lot earlier. To prevent this from happening again, painters tape applied just below the pulley and it's rope will allow us to hoist the mast and pull the rope through the pulley without the chance of it getting stuck (and the tape will just tear away.)

Roger realized that his buddy Mike, who was his crew before, took care of all the spinnaker ropes and managed the sail. Roger didn't know all of Mike's practices and tricks - this added a level of difficulty, but we were both determined to practice. Bringing the sail down went even worse than the clumsy hoist we just had. As Roger shouted commands to me, which I was trying to desperately interpret into actions, the sail fell into the water and we promptly ran over it with the boat. Roger announced with a sigh "We're going to beach this boat to bring in that sail". After we managed to get the huge sail back into the boat (now heavy because it is wet) Roger decided that there was too much wind to practice with the spinnaker. We rode across the bay back and forth for a bit. I love being up on the trapeze. Roger likes to ask me if I can see the centerboard when I am fully extended. It is very cool to see, actually; the white flash moving swiftly under water.
One of the things that amazes me is that he can look at the water and tell me exactly when I need to get ready to get 'up' because a gust is coming. Experience, I guess - he knows what he is looking at; soft water, hard water, glassy or choppy, it all means something with the wind and how he will drive.
We were moving around the bay and I heard Roger say quietly "Flying Dutchman". I wondered what that meant. Was there a boat without a driver? Was that some sort of boat jargon for a person overboard?
Then I saw another 505 approaching. The driver announces, "Flying Dutchman!" "We are yadda yadda yadda..." he is now speaking a language I do not understand. (I believe he was giving details of what his plans were for the day/route/ routine/ course etc.) Roger calls back to them "Are you John?" He says "Yes" and invites us to follow. Roger waves and I asked him if we are going to follow. "That guy is a pro - and much too fast for us right now, and as much as I would love to chase, we are here to just get oriented to the boat." Roger looked a little bummed as we watched the Flying Dutchman 'flying' away over the water.
Throughout the rest of the day we enjoyed great sailing. I am finding out there is a whole new language to learn. To Reach, Flatten, Bear up, Bear Off; these words I hear Roger use and I need to manifest tasks from them. Those ribbons on the sail? Yes, they are 'tell tails' clever! I am finding they are really important to watch. In Mission Bay it seems as if the wind is always 'swirling' and the fun time on the trapeze has often been short-lived for me. I was out on the line once this Sunday and the wind died so suddenly that I didn't move fast enough to get both legs into the boat when it dropped and one of my legs completely slipped over the side of the boat and I was doing the splits up to my hip in the water. Roger calmly announced the term for that situation (had I gone completely into the water) is called being 'tea-bagged'. Of course stories of previous 'tea-bagging' episodes ensued.
I wanted very much to hoist the spinnaker successfully before our day on the water was over and I urged Roger to find a way for us to try again. Roger sailed to a quieter spot on the bay exploring for a place to practice. He kept saying "I think its too windy, Pat". But he knew I wanted to try again, so he finally found a path to follow to bring up that big sail. As we headed straight for a dock of parked boats, his plan was to turn around completely and pull that sail. I am amazed at how close Roger can get to a target and stop and turn (while I do my part with the Jib). This time I was a tad more familiar with what rope did what, and also how much muscle it takes to get the spinnaker pole in place and when that pole should go up.(Timing is everything!) We successfully raised the spinnaker for the second time that day - and were trying to take it down when we began to ride over the sail again....UGH. Roger then pulled the sail back up (now heavy and wet) (Third time up!) let it blow a bit and then we went into the down sequence--this time actually managing to get most of it put away. Roger let us do the same route one more time and back to the dock we went. We turned and launched the spinnaker, even a bit more smoothly for the fourth time. As we let the wind fill the sail, Roger looked at it and said, Darn (well maybe it was another word) "I have the sail on backward! I am not supposed to be able to read the letters and numbers on that sail." He explained that the sail, if it were installed in the other direction, would be much easier to 'pull in' as the sail would be lying on the rope and not on the water as it was lowered into the boat. Nevertheless, we did get it back into the boat and I can say we had an epic learning day.

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